Asian Fit Goggles
The ski shop was quiet on a weekday afternoon. We just got to the ski resort after a 4 hour drive & the first order of business is get bindings for my husband. He was talking to a an attendant at the back of the store. I was waking around looking at overpriced ski jackets. I moved on to the accessories. As I moved to the front, there was another attendant who greeted me, "How's it going today?" I smiled & said "I'm good". I looked left & saw the sign handwritten on paper.
ASIAN FIT Goggles
I scoffed. "Huh?", annoyed, I walked closer to the glass display. I looked back at the attendant & with a curious facial expression asked, "What does Asian fit mean?"
He looked up to me & said matter of factly, "It's for people with low-bridged nose".
"Why don't you just call it that?" my annoyance now more apparent.
"Oh, that's what the manufacture calls it, I'm sorry." He did seem apologetic.
"We actually tried to change it to low-bridged nose goggles & people didn't buy it so we're following the manufacture's label." In my head it made sense, I was shock & felt called out.
I'm asian. I have low bridged nose. My face showed my struggle.
I struggled a lifetime where I'm made to feel less than, unpretty because of my nose. I know many people who get their nose done because of this skewed standard of beauty.
At that moment, my husband came up. He seemed ready to leave.
I thanked the attendant & wished him a good day.
As we we're getting back in the car, I recounted that interaction with my husband. I was puzzled.
It was snowing the next day, our first day skiing. We were on the chairlift, everywhere is covered in white. It's gorgeous. It's cold. It's windy.
The cold wind & snow fall gets into my eyes & it hit me! I'm using a non- asian fit goggles. It was an "aha" moment. The goggles that I'm wearing is for high bridged nose. I have a low bridged nose so there's a gap in between my nose & the goggles so the cold wind goes through. I had to process this what I'm feeling & what I'm thinking.
When we had lunch, I started searching for Asian Fit goggles so I can try them on.
I have them on now & loved it since.
This was a year ago now. Why am I bringing this up now?
The other day while skiing on an overcast day, the lens of my asian fit goggles makes it hard for me to see on a cloudy day. My husband volunteered to swap goggles. He has high bridged nose. It was laughable that my asian fit goggles was squishing his nose & his goggles don't stop the cold air & snow hitting my eyes. So we swapped back after 1 run.
Having the right gear does make a difference. I'm grateful for the asian fit goggles.
Looking back, my cognitive dissonance was my own internalized racism. The silly desire to fit in a world where it doesn't look like me. I was ashamed of myself. I had to process, go through the uncomfortable, accept & eventually celebrate my authentic self. The journey of self-acceptance has been painful & fulfilling.
